30 Days of Me Photo Challenge: Day 19

 

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Day Nineteen

Post a photo of someone close to you who has passed. Write a letter to them.

{  Me with both of my boys. <3  }

Dear Liam,

Sometimes, I look at your brother & my heart fills with so much love for him I think I could burst. Then, this dark feeling creeps in & I wonder what my heart would feel like with you here, too. I know there are no answers for these morbid questions that lurk in the depths of my heart, but they are still there & they come creeping out whenever they feel like it.

I feel blessed to know you. To have had you. You taught me so many things about myself. I never knew the true meaning of unconditional love until I held you...& then lost you in my arms.

I imagine you running around in the cool green grass with Collin in Great Gramma Sanford's backyard. The crystal blue lake glistening behind you. The sun beaming down on your face...reaching every crevice giving you an angelic glow. Giggling as Collin chases you around & around the yard until you both are dizzy & fall to the floor in fits of laughter.

I imagine that you would call me Mommy, but Collin would call me Mama.

I imagine the admiration on Collin's face as he watches his big brother grow & learn.

I imagine you filled with excitement on Christmas morning not waiting for Dad & I before tearing into your first gift & then slowing down, only for a moment to help Collin with his.

I imagine the fights the two of you will have. First over toys, then girls.

You'll never get to experience these things. That is so hard for me to accept. Even still.

I miss you so. More today than yesterday.

Love,

Mommy