Every New Beginning

{ LINK CREDIT }

I have come under some serious fire as of late. My latest blog, "outing," my separation & divorce received a lot of negative feedback. People do not seem to understand just why it is that I blog and blog openly about my life. Good and bad.

It makes me sad that everyone so easily judges me and my life. I do not live my life with intentions to hurt people and I am only trying to live a fulfilled and happy life for myself and for my son. Keeping this blog is something that gives me happiness. Being open and honest about my life on this blog has resulted in so many positive reactions. I have received an outpouring of emails from other moms that are going through or have gone through similar situations. Liam's death and my openness about it has had a profound affect on other mothers who are looking to know they aren't alone.

With all the positivity I receive for this blog, I also receive a lot of negativity. It is a taboo to share, "too much," on social media or a blog and in the eyes of many, I should not speak about certain aspects of my life. I also believe there is a line and because of that, I have carefully chosen exactly how much I've shared about my separation. However, I am not ashamed of my choices nor do I believe I, "over shared," on my blog.

I am not going to hide from my blog and change who I am because of other people and their opinions. You are all entitled to your opinions. This is my blog. My life. I am content and happy with my choices and the direction my life is heading. I am not a perfect person. I can be a mess sometimes. I am stubborn; even when I know I'm wrong. I over analyze and over think. And...I blog and share my life. This is me, folks. You don't like it, don't read my blog. I refuse to hide. I refuse to allow others to bully me into hiding parts of myself from my readers. And I refuse to give up something I love because I'm worried about what other people will think or say.

I'm sharing my life with you. The good and the bad. Real life isn't always sunshine and lollipops. Sometimes it's just plain shitty and sometimes people are just plain mean. I am done letting them prevent me from my happiness and I am done allowing them to keep my wounds open.

That said, those of you who follow me on zee Twitter or the Facebeezy already know this. There is someone new in my life. I did not expect to fall for someone this quickly after my separation, but I did. Our strong friendship played a big part in it. I did not expect this, but I am happy it happened. I have never been so happy. I have never felt more connected. And it's time to introduce him to my blog. Because I blog about my daily life. And Jacob is a part of my life now. Jacob and his three amazing children. There will be more on them in future blogs, I'm sure.

I am very much in love. Like, fairy tale love. And I am excited to share my passion for blogging with Jacob. I really don't need to get into too much detail. As I begin to get back into the swing of blogging, you will all meet Jacob & learn more about him.

He is what dreams are made of, folks. And I am excited and I am happy and I am filled with joy and love. And no one. No one will make me feel guilty for this.

The D Word

I've been avoiding this post. Where do I begin? Where do I end? How much do I share? Should I share? What am I supposed to do about my blog readers? I've been posting less and less. There is a reason for that. I have been too afraid to let on too much. To let too many people know. After all, it's my business, right? Problem is, is this blog is my business. Plastered all of the internetz. I pride myself on my openness and ability to share my life's struggles with others and because I've been afraid to share this, I've been sacrificing something I love, blogging.

This is me. That's all I can offer you guys. I am not a perfect person and I don't pretend to be. My life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. I am doing the best I can with the one life I have been given. Unfortunately, at this time in my life, that means divorce.

Greg and I are no longer together. We have not been for some time. There is no reason for me to get into details because this involves too many people (Collin included) for me to air out everything and not hurt feelings or risk losing relationships. Bottom line? We don't work together. We don't fit. And that really sucks as a parent to have to separate from the one who created this beautiful child with you, but staying together would have been worse. This happens. It sucks. But this happens.

I have one life. One. Just one. One chance. And I want to spend it living happily and fully. With no regrets and no, "what if's." I gave Greg everything I had. Once there was nothing left, I knew what was best for me and Collin was this.

Judge if you want.

Gossip if you must.

I'm happy. Collin is happy. That is all that matters to me.

This needed to be said. I am tired of hiding from my blog and tired of pretending.

This is me, people.

Take it or leave it.