Oh, yes. I went there. Can you believe this shizz, ladies?
Day Eighteen
Post a photo of your biggest insecurity. Why are you insecure about this particular thing? What can you do to change it? Do you want to change it?
I have been dreading this day since I began the challenge. I have three, very large insecurities. My stretch marks, my eye wrinkles (I have some serious eye wrinkles, yo) & my moles (moley, moley, moley...couldn't resist, sorry). It would have been so easy to blog about the last two. I wouldn't have to post a gross photo & I could move on with the challenge. But I knew the second I read the challenge, that I wanted to do this. It would put me way out....we are talking Timbuktu...of my comfort zone, but I knew it would also be a step towards helping me conquer this insecurity. Besides, this is supposed to be a challenge. Tell me what will be more challenging than clicking the publish post button after I finish this blog?!?!? Could you do it?
I have a love/hate relationship with my stretch marks. Before I had Collin, I embraced them. They were the only proof that Liam was here. That he, at one time, was growing inside my belly, getting stronger & I was, at one time, filled with hopes & dreams for him. These Liam marks, were also only on my sides. I didn't get any on my tummy...until my monster child. My nine pound baby boy ,Collin. He stretched my stomach to it's limit. Literally. My belly button had popped out at seven months & my skin was stretched so far, it was painful. The slightest touch of my jeans sent me into a fit of dry heaves.
You can see my hair follicles, people! How much farther stretched can a woman get?! This was 20 days before I had Collin. Oh, & the
deep red??? That is not an edit. That was really what I looked like. If it looks painful, that's because it was.
These marks have left deep grooves in my skin. I know I will never, ever have the stomach I once did. When I finally lose all the weight I want to (OMG, are the holiday foods killing anyone else's diets), I know my old body is forever gone. I love my stretch marks, in that they are my way of having Collin & Liam with me forever. I hate them because I will never be able to wear a bikini & feel comfortable again. At least, not in front of strangers....then again, I never in a million years thought I'd be posting photos of said stretch marks.
I guess I'm well on my way to acceptance.
Honestly Holly, for how red and sore they looked in your pregnant picture, they really look quite good now and I must say your stomach is looking great.... I don't know if you tan, but sometimes that helps to hide them so it makes wearing a bikini a bit easier and the marks less noticeable....
ReplyDeleteyeah. Emma was 9 lbs. 6 oz. I feel ya on the owie-ness.
ReplyDeleteYour stomach looks great though, considering. And it doesn't look like it "hangs" like mine down does. Seriously. I have a flap of a belly.
And as for the "could I do click the publish button?" No. I considered posting my face scar. But it's too visible... not something I can hide under a shirt. I was so afraid that's all people would stare at after reading my post. lol.
Kudos to you for posting! =]
Kudos! Oh You got GUTS girl!! and your stomach healed up very nice!! :D you can hardly tell...and as the years go on, it'll get less and less.
ReplyDeleteI have massive stretch marks too. Mine go from down yonder almost all the way up to my boobs. And that's not counting the ones on my boobs, hips, and thighs. Your stomach looks amazing though, for real!
ReplyDelete