Thirty Days of Me Photo Challenge: Day Thirteen

 

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DMB on my iPhone. Obsessed.

Day Thirteen

Post a photo of your favorite band or artist. Why do you love this band/artist? What song(s) in particular do you love & why? Post the lyrics to your favorite song by this artist/band & bold the ones that hold the most meaning for you.

This was a difficult choice for me. I am a music lover. I love it all. I mean it. I'll listen to anything. There are songs that move me to tears & some that send me into a fit of laughter; some transport me instantaneously to a moment from my past & some can make me feel truly at peace.

As a result of my music obsession, my favorite artists change...nearly every week. So, I tried narrowing it down to the artists that have moved me the most. I thought about choosing Gavin Rossdale for his song, "Love Remains the Same," because it got me through Liam's death. I had that song on repeat for weeks. I thought about choosing Tracy Byrd for his song, "Keeper of the Stars," because my husband whispered the song into my ear as we danced our first dance during our wedding. I thought about...& almost did...choosing The Band Perry for, "If I Die Young." That song made me weep when I first heard it. It was like Liam was there, singing it to me. Giving me some type of comfort.

Then I realized this isn't about a specific song. It's about an artist or band that you love & I knew who I would choose.

Dave Matthews Band.

I have loved this band nearly my entire life. They were there for me through puberty, awkward braces & geekdom all the way up until I finally blossomed into a young woman who was confident in herself. They were there for break ups, make ups, late nights with friends, my first time getting drunk, my first kiss, marriage, Liam, Collin, Greg....I always had Dave Matthews Band to get me through.

I couldn't possibly choose one song. They all hold special meaning to me, but I can share the lyrics to one that has gotten me through the most & grown to mean different things to me at different points in my life.

Lying in the Hands of God, Dave Matthews Band

Fill me up now drain me

Skin begins to grow back slowly

Faster until I'm choking

I should really call my mother

Save your sermons for someone that's afraid to love

If you knew what I feel you couldn't be so sure

I'll be right here lying in the hands of God

If you feel angels in your hair

I am in love with nothing else

Teardrops of joy run off my face

I will rise for someone that's afraid to love

If you knew what I feel then you couldn't be so sure

I'll be right here lying in the hands of God

This song said all of the things I couldn't say when I lost Liam....& that, my friends is the making of a soul shaking song. When it feels what you feel. It says what you need to say & want to say better than you ever could have imagined.

It's strange. I never felt closer to God than when Liam died....& I was angry at Him for, "filling me up & then  draining me slowly." I was so angry at Him. I still find myself struggling with anger sometimes. It's another dirty little secret of what goes on in the mind of a Mom who has lost. But I also still love Him. If it weren't for Him, I surely would be dead myself. I mean, who survives that?! I did.

This song. This song.

This perfect song.

This perfect band.