Holly Days: Collin Has an Announcement

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Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Collin Has an Announcement


I am sure you all have questions. I know I did. This baby was a completely unexpected surprise. It has been a crazy & rough month since finding out. Emotionally & mentally, I have been so drained & worried about everything. My family, what it means for J & I, what it means for Collin, my health. Pregnancy, for me, is not as simple as carrying a baby for nine months. No, for me it means a cerclage, numerous ultrasounds & perinatologist visits, daily Lovenox (blood thinner) injections & weekly progesterone injections. All to keep baby safe & sound inside my belly until it's time to come out. For those who are concerned or curious as to why my pregnancy requires so much intervention, you can read my son Liam's story here.

My pregnancy with Collin was difficult physically & hard on me emotionally. I knew once I saw the, "pregnant," sign flash in my face that this pregnancy would be the same. And this time I was in a completely different place in my personal life. J & I are not married, we live in different states & we both have children from previous relationships. But once I got over the shock & the disappointment in myself & J, I realized how much more love is in my life this time. Collin has been the sweetest big brother already. Clutching his, "baybee pitcher," all the time & taking it everywhere (ultrasounds photo). Exclaiming, "Oh! Baby sewwwww choot!!" whenever anyone will listen. J has been my rock & completely unwavering & supportive. Driving from California to Nevada for every appointment & kissing my tummy reassuringly when we are together. The girls are thrilled & Aiden, well, Aiden is too young to get it yet. There is so much love & support that I can't help but feel like everything will be okay.

J & I have decided to take this on together & move our families in together to create one big, crazy, blended family in J's house in Lucerne Valley, California. We are scared, yes, but happy. I knew shortly after I met J that I would be with him for the rest of my life & I knew I would want children in the future with him. It's happened sooner than I originally planned, but I firmly believe that we are given what God thinks we can handle. I trust Him & His plan for us & I know He has a plan for this child & our family. We both know things are going to be hard. So hard, but we also believe we can conquer whatever is thrown our way.

Collin's Dad & I have been communicating & problem solving through all of this amazingly well. He wasn't excited about the move, of course, but he was wonderful about us working together to create a new schedule for us that would benefit Collin & ensure he got time with his Daddy & Mama & new sibling. I am thankful that Greg & I have maintained a relationship where we can communicate & work together keeping Collin's best interests at heart. It's the hardest thing in the world separating from someone who you created a life with & even harder when that other person is combative or volatile (much like what J & I are struggling with on his end of things), so I am grateful that Greg & I never lose sight of what's important. Collin. And that we have come to an agreement on everything concerning Collin outside of a court room. Because really? No one loves or cares for Collin as much as we do; most certainly not a judge or lawyer whom has never soothed Collin during a long night with a fever,  held him while he blew out his birthday candles or kissed an owie. This is why we have always made sure our efforts stay between us. Even when we disagree, we are committed to finding a solution together. I have much love for the father of my baby boy.

As you have probably gathered, this has been the cause for my Internetland absence as of late. This baby? Is kicking my rear end. Hard. Name the pregnancy symptom, I have it. Severe nausea & dry heaves, fatigue, sore boobs, food aversions, smell aversions, dry skin, acne like whoa, mood swings, nails that grow like they're on steroids, leg hair that rivals a Yeti & emotional outbursts. Oh & PS, my brother in law will be so thrilled that my chin hair has made a reappearance & the encore is no joke.  But, I'm cool. Totally cool. In an OMGISTHATABEARDIMGROWING sort of way.

I am nearing the end of my first trimester & praying to the pregnancy Gods that all of this sickness will disappear with those first weeks. Because sister ain't doing nine months of hairy legged dry heaves.

Of course J & I will be creating some type of pregnancy series, so check back for updates & all the lovely details of my high risk pregnancy. Mmmmm, belly bruises from Lovenox. I bet you can't wait.

For now, we are taking things one day at a time...& today? Today calls for animal fries from In N Out.

22 comments:

  1. This is jennx88x from instagram.. I just wanted to let you know i'll be praying to the pregnancy gods for you too.. I've been having a pretty rough pregnancy and couldn't imagine going through the stuff you are.

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    1. Thank you! The love & support from other Mamas is so amazing. It's comforting knowing so many of you are out there rooting for us!

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  2. So exciting!!! Praying your have a healthy pregnancy so much that it's shocking to you!!! You deserve the best. xo

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    1. Thank you, thank you, thank you! So kind!

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  3. This is so wonderful, CONGRATS! I understand why you are worried and I'll keep your family in my prayers! Can't wait to read bump updates! Yay!

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    1. Thank you! We will need all the positive prayers sent as possible. :)

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  4. Wow... Congratulations! I'm so happy for you & j. That certainly does explain why you didn't answer me about family pictures after gianni was born. Yay!!! Collin is so cute. Reminds me of michael when he found out. Proud brother!!! Congrats I'm so happy for you. But now I have to find a new photographer. How will I replace you? I just love your work!

    *emily*

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    1. Hahaa! Yeah, I've been pretty miserable. But I can still be your photographer, silly!!! I will be traveling to Vegas frequently to drop Collin off to his Daddy & to see my family. You can't get rid of me that fast! ;)

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  5. Yay yay yay!!! Congrats momma! You'll be in my prayers! I was wondering where you were!

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    1. Thank you!!! And yeah, I've been making love to my toilet.

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  6. SHUT YOUR FACE!! I AM THRILLED FOR YOU!! ( a little jealous and pissed that you are moving further away from me. jerk jerky jerk face. but over all thrilled!) J is awesome and dude your having a baby with that man! so the baby will be awesome! YAY! ps I hope all goes well and you are in my thoughts for sure!

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    1. Hahaha! Thank you!!! I know, father away sucks, but we can totes hang out still. :)

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  7. Hey Hollers! Wow!!! Crazy Surprise!!! First off Congratulations on your new edition!!! I hope that the baby is healthy and that YOU are healthy as well!!! If you need anything, please always count on me and TJ. Pregnancies are WAY brutal in the first trimester and YOU of all people know that... Stay happy, hopeful and optimistic! I can't wait to meet the Little One <3<3<3<3

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    1. Yeah, crazy CRAZY surprise. Thank you for being so sweet & kind to me even after everything that happened with Greg & I. Many people get so caught up in drama & taking sides they fail to see that there really is no side to take. And yeah, THIS pregnancy especially has been brutal. Feeling sick all of the time, working full time & taking care of Collin is rough! Love you & thank you for the support & love.

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  8. I really can't believe I missed this! I'm so excited for you & your entire little brood of loved ones. Congratulations again!! ♥ I'll be keeping you in my daily thoughts, I hope everything goes smoothly and that the morning sickness gtfo soon! Collin is seriously going to be the best big brother around, I know it. I'm so happy too that you & Greg have been able to work together so well, that's really amazing. I'm really so happy for you ♥

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  9. Shut the front door! How in the world did I miss this (thank god for stalking/following you on instragram)? Congrats to you and J! I can only imagine how scary and exciting this must all be and I can't wait to see where this new chapter of your life takes you all! (And dude, I so hear you on the facial hair--what the eff is up with that? I feel like a Yeti whenever I'm pregnant.)

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    1. What the eff is up with that shiz?!?! It's horrifying!!!

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  10. That is so exciting!! I will be praying for you and that sweet babe!

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