In my life, there are many people who need me for various things. I work full time, I mom full time, I am a housekeeper, a taxi driver, a chef, a sister (did I mention my little sister is pregnant), a daughter, a girlfriend, an ex wife, a student, a freelance writer, a master dish washer (can I get a whoop whoop for my Foreman grill?!?!), a blogger, a chino folder extraordinaire, etc, etc, etc. It has just been a way of life for me to place myself, being Holly, at the end of that list. That's just how it has to be & that's just how life is. Everyone else's needs come before mine (especially Collin's) & that's fine with me. Seriously, I'm not complaining or looking for people to feel sorry for me. I think this just happens when you become a Mom. I think your brain just makes you work hard to make sure everyone is happy & taken care of.
At any given moment, our mom brains are in a million different places: Collin had a little cough this morning, I'd better text to see how he is doing now. OMG, I have so much laundry to do when I get home. Crap! I forgot to take out chicken to thaw for dinner tonight! What's in the freezer that I can whip up? Did I water the plants before I left this morning? I need to remember to get gas on my way home. It's getting warmer, I need to get Collin some sandals & shorts. J is coming in this weekend, I need to make sure I have Guayaki in the fridge for him & set up Aiden's crib. Greg needed Collin's info for the new insurance, I need to get that over to him. We have a meeting at work on Thursday at 3PM, I can't forget my notes.
It's a Mom thing. I am completely sure of this.
This past weekend was J's birthday. He had been working so hard all week (coal shipments = back breaking work for him) & I knew his feet had to have been sore & aching from being stuck in his work boots. I knew he had had a pedicure at least once before from a previous conversation we'd had. What perfect timing for a birthday pedicure!!!
Of course, we did them together. We sat in chairs next to one another & we happily relaxed & talked...joked about what color he would get for his toes...nearly fell asleep in those massage chairs (those massage chairs, people!!!) as our nail technicians rubbed & lotioned up our feet.
Once we were done, J told me repeatedly how great his feet felt & naturally, as I do whenever I give anyone a gift, I asked him no less than 17 times if his feet felt good & how he liked his birthday gift. He did.
And then, as I looked at my toes that evening for the thousandth time & internally thought about what an amaze foot model I'd be, "Just look at those perfect toes!," (sister, don't even pretend that you don't do that after a pedicure), I realized I'd given myself a gift, too.
My pretty, freshly polished feet had given this Mama a sweet little boost of confidence & a much needed hour of relaxation & me time. I was revamped & energized & remembering what it is like to make sure I am taken care of first. You remember? Back in the days when you were your only priority or care? It felt good. Really good.
And I realized, it's okay to do this once in awhile. It's okay for me to focus on....me & get a pedicure. In fact, I need to do these things for myself sometimes. I get so burnt out running around doing everything for everybody & that sometimes frustrates me & makes me short with people or angry. This was such a great reminder to slow down. Enjoy myself & remember that I need to take care of me before I can take care of anyone else.