Well boys and girls, here I am . . . the Manski!!! Ok, actually, my name is Jacob. Boyfriend, love, soul mate and many other things, to the one and only Holly. A truly amazing woman as I am sure that you all have come to know. As you have also probably come to learn from my rambling beauty, I am also a bit of an English dweeb, but we can get into that aspect of nerd-dom later on. About a week or two ago, Holly floated the idea of me contributing to her blog. There were two things going on in my head at the same time . . . Um, I don't know about all this. I can not risk the possibility of ruining her blog . . . and . . . Dang!!! This could really be fun. Give us a chance to connect more than we already are. Give people a better look at how crazy in love we are with each other and our kids. So I obviously went with thought #2. So Holly decided to go with a Question and Answer session with all of you to help break the ice. So without further ado . . . here we go!!!
Can you tell us about your kids?
Madison just turned 8 on September 28, and Andria is 4 this past June 1. Both girls I had with my ex-wife, Jennifer. Then we have my little guy, Aiden, who is 1 as of this past May 25, only a couple of hours before my mom's birthday. She was really hoping for her birthday. I had Aiden with my ex-fiance. My kids are simply amazing. Telling you all about my kids in a short bit = impossible.
Madison is very much like her mother with it comes to the attitude. And I am not talking only about the verbal attitude, but the kid makes the physical gestures too! GEEZ!!! But then she has become an avid reader like me. She always has a book, and lately she has been reading about three books at one time. She has become so scary smart, that her mom and I may have to get her a tutor before high school to help with the math . . . cuz let's face it, I may be a musician, but I suck at math.
Aiden . . . God . . . How is it possible to love something so tiny? How is it so possible for something so tiny to be so flippin' SMART!? This little guy is too cool/cute for words. The day after Aiden was born, he was transported down to the Loma Linda NICU. (We can get into this another time) It is actually a little bit hard for me to talk about the little guy, because I am in the middle of a custody battle right now with his mom, and as of this weekend, I finally got to see my boy after almost three weeks. Kind of an emotional topic.
How was it leaving your ex for Holly?
Good question. I have a question for you . . . Which time? I believe the ticker is twice. The first time I left her for Holly, I was completely jumping the gun. I knew that I needed to plan things out right, but I was beyond overly anxious to "get the show on the road". But after I left her, I felt like I should have put a little bit more into it. To at least try a little bit harder. So I went back . . . STUPID!!! IDIOT!!! The second time I left her . . . ZERO regrets. ZERO desire to try harder. It was not as planned out as I wanted it to be, but forget about it! I knew what I wanted for the first time in my life. I knew with out a single doubt in my mind that I had found the one and only woman who could truly make me happy for the rest of my life. I grabbed the opportunity by the balls, yanked hard, and I have not, and never will, looked back. It was a little hard the second time. I'm not going to lie. I was hurting someone. I would not be human if I did not realize that. But I was not going to pretend to be happy for the rest of my life.
Why are you majoring in English?
It took me 10 years to finally figure out what I wanted to do with my life. And do you know what made the light bulb turn on in my head? I was reading a book one dead night at work, I saw some horrible editing mistakes in a very well known publishing company, and thought to myself I can be editing this stuff. I am tired of seeing stupid mistakes. What do I have to do? So I started doing my research, and here I am, working on an English major. I have been reading like crazy for my entire life. I remember the late nights as a kid in my mom's house, getting caught reading a book to the light of a flashlight under my blankets by my ma. Skipping ahead yeeeeeeaaaaaarrrrrsssss later . . . I was a lead appliance installer and my partner loved reading also, and he got me turned on to this small series (I am completely exaggerating) called The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan. It came to the point that I was making my partner drive us to all of our deliveries because I just could not put the book down. I love the English language. It is so beautiful. It may just take me a lifetime to figure it all out, but that is ok with me. I have got the best person in the world to live that life of learning to be a dweeb.
What did you first think about Holly?
DAYUM!!! Ok, serously though . . . It was my first class at school. (We are taking online classes) I had read her bio at school, and decided to do a little bit of research (Holly considers this stalking) to find her blog. I saw her picture that came up (It was some pictures from when she was in Cali for Easter), and my mouth dropped. I was so caught off gaurd by her beauty, and her amazing personality that just emitted from the picture. A week later . . . I FIND OUT THAT SHE IS IN MY LEARNING TEAM GROUP!!! Ah gee!!! All joking aside, my heart was RACING. Well the two of us and the other two in our group decided that it would be best to collaborate ideas via IM chat. We clicked in a quick second. Then I got the cojones a couple of days later to give her a call for the stupidest reason. There was a person in our team slacking off, and I wanted her to call him. AHHHHHHHHH!!! I know . . . Lame . . . And she did not even answer the phone. I got her voicemail. But DANG!!! it was great to hear her voice. Her voice was exactly what I had imagined. And this is the lame message intro I came up with, "Wow! You sound as perky as you type!" OMG LAME!!!
What do you think about Holly's blog and being in the public eye?
Holly's blog = AWESOMEBALLS!!! I had never read a blog in my life until I came across Holly's. And I have not stopped loving it. I find it amazing that someone could be so candid about their life. That someone can be so strong and supportive for people that she has never met. Just the idea of the blog is something that I find really interesting. But me being in the public eye? A little bit awkward. I am no where near the social butterfly that Holly is. But I think I am doing ok with it so far. I have always been a bit to myself. I never really went out and hung out with friends. And being a musician that used to perform on stage . . . yeah, it is a little weird to not be real social. I know. But I'm working on it.
How do you feel about coming into Collin's life so young?
Well, from the bit of experience that I got with my last relationship, (my ex has three kids 8, 11, and 13) I find that it is a lot easier because I am more acceptable to him. Coming into the life of an older child can be hard. They have their own views on what they think their parents should be and coming into a broken home with older child is hard . . . and I mean on the redonk side. Collin is an amazing little guy, and in a certain aspect, I actually think that he knows what is going on. But, I think that coming into his life at such a yound age will help the two of us to bond really well, and that it will be easier for us to build a really good relationship.
How do you feel about Holly being in your kids' lives?
I think about it all of the time. Literally. I could not have asked for a better woman to spend my life with, and to top it off, she is an amazing mother. She gets kids. You can just tell. And you don't need this blog to know that. She know how to get down to their level, and just talk to them. It was just amazing to see her sitting in the sand at Madison's birthday party, and just talk to her. I know that my kids will love her to death. I already know that Aiden does. Case in point . . . I asked him for a kiss a couple of weeks ago, and he gives me an attitude about it. Here comes my girl, she says hi to him and he flirts that sheezy up. She asks for a kiss, and the lil playa puckers up! WTtotheF!!! For reals!?!?!? Seriously though, I can not imagine anyone else being by my side, let alone being there for my midgets.
What are your passions?
I considered numbering these in order, but that is just too hard. I'll just list them off. Reading novels (especially Sci Fi/Fantasy), music (ALL GENRES . . . maybe not so much with polka, but I won't hate), playing musical instruments (I play the piano, saxophones, flute, and I played the bass guitar for a minute . . . Where is my bass Bob?) my family, the beach, drum and bugle corp shows (I know I didn't play a brass instrument, but dang they are awesome), movies, games used to be one but I let that one drop to the side due to the whole kids/significant other/grave yard job/lack of funds. There is probably more, but I just can't think of more at the moment.
What is your favorite feature of Holly's?
Really? I have to pick a specific feature that could be classified as "favorite"? Come on!!! Everything about her is just amazing. Her personality is the first thing that I completely fell in love with. But when I first saw her (a close up picture) I practically fell into her eyes. I saw so much in her eyes . . . love, passion, honesty, loyalty, friendship . . . When I first talked to her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . her laugh. Le sigh.
Since you already have three kids and Holly has one, how do you feel about having more kids?
WHOA!!! What?! Slow your roll there, sparky . . . I'm totally joking. I would love to have one more kid. I had actually considered getting snipped a few times, and about a year ago, I even had a consultation. But there were many things holding me back. I think that the possible want for another was something that was festering in the back of my head. The idea is definitely awesome, but I am in no rush. I need to concentrate on setting things right with the three I have before seriously considering a fourth. But I do love the idea.
How does the long distance affect your relationship with Holly?
It. Sucks. Big. Time. A back at you question; is it worth it? It is worth every miserable second that we are apart. All of the crap that we have gone through and are going through, is only confirmed when I finally see her and look into her eyes. When I feel her in my embrace. When I put my face into the crook of her neck, breath in the scent of her, and sofly kiss her neck. When I reach my hand around to the nape of her neck, slowly bring her toward me, softly telling her of my love for her just before we kiss. When I hear her laugh and see her smile. All of these things and more make the long distance bearable. It will never be easy, but we will and do make it work. And the day for us to be closer together could not come quick enough.
How and when did you know that Holly was the one?
In the back of my head, almost immediately. When the light bulb started to flicker to a decent brightness, when my school counselor mentioned that we could link our classes together for our entire school career and I realized that four years would just not be enough time with her.
What is it like being a divorced father?
In one word, weird. In multiple, possible rambling words, sucky b.s. I grew up surrounded by strong marriages that whether things were great or just plain sucked, they worked things out because they loved each other that much. The old saying "there is no I in team" goes perfectly with a marriage. A husband and wife are like a team, and they have to work at things together in everything. I used to regret not trying as hard with my first marriage, but I got over that realizing that everything happens for a reason. It was not meant to be, and that one person that is really for me is out there, waiting for me. So ending up a divorced father is a little bit weird. Trying to juggle my job and school, and then trying to figure out how to get out to my girls to spend some time with them when my days off are Sunday and Monday, and Madison is in school on a Monday. Very difficult.
How do you deal without seeing your girls everyday?
Honestly, it is very hard. I actually have a really hard time with it to the point that I don't want to call them because I feel like I am just a voice to them. And that kills me. I want/need to be there for them for so much more than just a voice. I need to be there to be that shoulder to cry on when they just don't want/can't to take it to their mom. To be there to joke with. To be there to make funny faces with. To be there to talk to. To be there to read with. To be there to snuggle up on the couch with and watch a movie. Plain and simple . . . It's hard.
What are some of the things that you and Holly have in common? What do you disagree on?
English dweebs . . . HELLO! Music is a definite passion that we share. Our love for strong family values. We are both just plain AWESOME!!! (She is totes more awesome than me though. I ain't gonna front, yo!) Disagree . . . ? Some things regarding politics, ummmm . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
I see myself happily married to the one woman that completes me, YES, Holly. She is at a school teaching, but doing a blog on the side, and possible some other types on online work. I am doing freelance editing of novels, and working at writing novels. (I was going to say "attempting to write novels", but I don't want to get in trouble) We have had a midget of our own. Our weekends are spent with having family over to the house for my awesome bbq tri tip, a UFC game or just hanging out and having fun playing poker. (That just means that I would take everyone's money. hahaha) Our nights would be filled with me playing the piano while Holly cooks dinner, or of me cooking up some awesome Puerto Rican dishes while she continues to attempt to roll her r's in spanish. In 10 years I see myself being happier than I am now. In 20 years I see myself happier than I will be in 10 years.
What is it like being with someone who is so gangsta? Can chu handle it?
Yes. Holly posted this question. hahaha!!! But I can't argue. My girl is straight up as white gangsta as they get!!! BUHAHAHAHA!!! I have to lay the law down sometimes, but I think I handle it . . . I think she just let's me think so though.
Share with us your favorite pictures of your girls, Aiden, Collin, Holly and of the two of you.
Geez! That's kinda hard because there are so many pictures that I absolutely love. Let's see what I can dig up . . .
Madison acting sweet
My fav of the two of us
Andie in a fairy-ish dress
Come one . . . That is just darn cute
Yes, he has two different colored eyes
Always looking for something . . . always
Well, considering that this is my first time doing this, I have been doing it for hours, I have to get up in a couple of hours to take Madison to school before I have to leave to take Aiden back to his mom, and go to work tomorrow night . . . whew . . . I think it is time for me end this. "And that folks, is how the cookie crumbles." Have a wonderful week. Live it to the fullest. And I'll be seeing you all next week!