Holly Days: He Should Be Here, Too

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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

He Should Be Here, Too

This photo is terribly out of focus. Composed all wrong. The flash is too bright. No photographer would ever take pride in such a poor quality image. It's a complete disaster.....

but not to me.

After our impromptu photo shoot under the Christmas tree, Collin was exploring & touching various ornaments on our tree. He happened upon an ornament & hesitated. He wanted a closer look at this blue, square frame with a photo inside of it. He held it in his hand a moment, examining the curves & grooves, looking at the photo inside & then, with one quick tug, pulled it off of the tree.

It was our ornament that held a photo of Liam. The one we look at each year & with a heavy heart, hang on our tree. The one that...when I hung up this year...made me wonder what beautifully wrapped things would be waiting for Liam under our tree on Christmas morning & what our home would look like after two boys had ripped through all of the packaging. What shrieks we would have heard as our older son woke to see a tree filled with gifts from Santa & an overflowing stocking.

"He should be here," I thought as I was taking pictures of Collin & Ethan under our tree.

....& then he was. He was right there in that picture frame, starting back at me.

Telling me, "Mama, I am here."


  1. omg that just made me totally ball my eyes out! I only just recently stumbled across your blog so i am not even sure if you have ever posted about the loss of liam and what happened but i can say that my heart breaks for you. i could never imagine your strength to go on each day after the loss of a child except to say that you have another child to live for. God bless you and your family. thank you for that beautiful post.

  2. You are so strong. x

  3. <3 Always <3
    What a beautiful picture.

  4. What a courageous pic, and great big brother!

  5. @Joni - I post every so often about him. It is hard beign a loss Mom. You never want people to forget that your child exisited. You feel it's your duty to, "keep them alive," even if only in memory. This is my way. I'm revamping teh blog after the holidays to include a button that will take you to Liam's story.

    @rhiannonlockley - Thank you. =]

    @Debbie - :)

    @Ness - Thank you. =]

    @Eric - Thank you! And yeah...any big brother who is also a guardian angel is pretty great. =]